Would you like to know one of the quickest ways to achieve greater success and satisfaction in your life? Work on improving your emotional intelligence.
What is emotional intelligence? It is a set of emotional and social skills we use every day, whether it’s on the job, at home, on the road, or talking to ourselves. And, how well we use those skills is being proven to be more important to our success and happiness than our IQ’s. In fact, as much as 40% of the success you’ll have on your job relies on your having good emotional intelligence skills.
The concept of emotional intelligence hit the public full force when Daniel Goleman released his groundbreaking book Emotional Intelligence in the mid 1990’s. Before that, IQ was considered by many (and still is by all too many) to be the determiner of success in life.
But, will IQ alone make you a good team member? An A-rated boss? A successful trainer? A good spouse? An effective parent? Adept socially? Will it make you happy? No, that’s where EQ kicks in.
As you might expect, experts got busy studying emotional intelligence, identifying individual skills and then devising ways to measure them reliably. On the EQ-I 2.0, a thoroughly validated assessment tool, 15 individual EQ skills have been identified. Among these 15 skills are Self-Regard, Independence, Assertiveness, Interpersonal Relationships, Impulse Control, Reality Resting, Flexibility, Stress Tolerance, and Optimism.
Now, I am betting you could take each one of these skills and point out someone who has either too much or too little of that skill, right? Now, just imagine how life would change if that person simply corrected the imbalance. And, did you see a skill that is a challenge for you?
I got into emotional intelligence while going through a life-altering transition. And, I can tell you there is nothing that will wake you up faster than seeing your EQ scores objectively laid out on a chart. Mine was a picture of my life as I had created it. It was also a picture others were seeing daily! One of my low scores was “optimism.” I saw why my life had been, quite frankly, disappointing. You can’t win when you’re thinking “losing.” Odd that I could see it in others, but not in myself. I was being “realistic.”
Now, as opposed to IQ, your EQ can be improved. You simply decide what skills you want to improve, and you start tracking yourself, creating new, more resourceful habits. In my case, I got busy identifying situations where I was really being pessimistic and change to something more resourceful. And, it’s a good thing I did. ShortIy thereafter, I found myself the subject of a public, “dressing down” by a well-known consultant I’d paid to hear. As a result of my EQ self-work, I was able to realize he had huge ego problems -- and set everything aside and move forward. Otherwise, his remarks might have destroyed me. Now, that’s the benefit of having a good EQ.
Fundamentals for Success
Certified in Core Values Index™ and Emotional Intelligence